Beyond tired: Part 3

January 06, 2021

Happy new year. Sort of.

I took a couple of weeks off from my main Twitter account as it was getting too much and I knew the holiday period would be difficult for my mental health (spoiler alert: it was).

I'm kinda back but I'm not tweeting as much because I'm still uncomfortable about it. All the talk about the pandemic, the meta-discourse about the pandemic, and marketing industry chat is a lot to jump back into. I also don't give a crap about marketing right now. I will still do work to the best of my ability and I still enjoy the technicalities of what SEO is/should be about but the constant talk about tips and ideas—regurgitated from the same places offering little to no tangible solutions or actions for people to work with—drain me. My peers do it or share it and I just find it dull and annoying. Not sorry.

To be honest, most of the overall online chat I'm seeing is grating on me and I can't spend too long "logged on". And to that end, I'm beyond tired again and while I've told people I'm okay (because I am physically and logistically), mentally I'm not and I haven't been since March last year when this all kicked off. I know I need therapy but not CBT this time and I'll try to seek that this year. I've lost things dear to me and I have a lot of unresolved issues to overcome and reconcile with. I also have a son to look after amongst all this shit.

So if you're reading this and got this far, you don't have to tell me you're "there for me" or anything. I don't know who or when to talk to anyone just yet (unless you're a Black therapist, in which case let's talk!) and ultimately, I want to be left alone to feel better and hope I can someday leave the house and maybe even my city for something other than a COVID test or an alternative Christmas.